A week ago I packed up my apartment in Manhattan and moved back in with my parent's in Connecticut. Thanks to Covid-19.
Back in March when I decided to quarantine with the rest of my family in the suburbs I thought that I would only be away for a couple of weeks...little did I know that after just two weeks, I would be furloughed from my new job and that would leave my life in an unclear position. My first thought when I was furloughed was how I was going to pay rent for my apartment, because there is no way I could do it without a job. One thing I 100% knew at the time was that I would do anything to continue living in the city and make it work. After applying for unemployment insurance I was able to pay some bills, but the constant thought of my money going to waste for a place I wasn't even living in was always on my mind. As the days and weeks went by, the pandemic became more and more serious and I was still hunkering down with no clear view of when or if I would be going back to my city life.
Throughout quarantine I was continuously thinking about trying to head back to the city to live in my own place but as time went on I didn't see the use in it. Manhattan was essentially shut down and I wouldn't have been able to enjoy it like I would've on a normal day. Plus, summer weather was beginning to emerge and heading home almost every weekend was normal to be because of access to the beach and boat. Still for many weeks, I thought that I'd hopefully be able to get back to Manhattan at some point.
Fast forward to about a month ago after having some discussions with my family, I decided to have a tough conversation with my roommate over the possibility of breaking our apartment lease. I kept thinking about all of the money I could be saving if I didn't have to pay for a place I wasn't even living. Now is not the time to be wasting money, especially when you don't have a job. Luckily, my roommate was very understanding and we were able to work something out. Once the plan was in place I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders but extremely sad at the same time. This is not something that I want to do. I've been forced to do this because of the pandemic oozing into my life and job, as it has with just about everyone else on this planet in one way or another.
Last Friday was move out day and it was a very emotional and overwhelming one for me. It was hard to believe that after only living in the city for just about a year and a half that I now needed to box it all up and leave for the suburbs again. Moving into Manhattan was such a big deal for me and I can't help but to feel like I am being jipped. This incredible bit of my life that I worked so hard for is suddenly gone so quickly. Yet I constantly need to remind myself to be thankful for my health and a welcoming, safe family home to stay with during this time.
When I arrived to my apartment last week I thought that I had come to terms with the idea of moving back home, but I was suddenly so anxious. I hadn't seen my roommate in weeks and I basically entered at full speed and just started grabbing at things to take with me because I just felt so overwhelmed. I couldn't slow myself down and take a breather. Once my belongings were in my dad's truck a couple of hours later, it was time for me to say goodbye to my gorgeous view of the Brookyln bridge and the place where I made so many great memories; I started to cry. It sucked.
This time back home at my parent's house has taught me a lot about myself and life in general. I think what all humans have learned during this time is to never take advantage of life and what you have. You never know when something is going to come along and alter it. Take advantage of your lovely homes, your ass-kicking jobs, and your health. While it's been hard at times, I've also tried my best to stay positive. I know that everything will be okay down the line, I just have to stay patient. I could very well move back into Manhattan when the time is right, or I could potentially find a home elsewhere. I'm hoping that at some point soon I will have my job back and a nice little home to create a life in. In the meantime, I have my little sister at home that I will cozy up to and cherish this extra time I have with my family.
Life is just getting started.
What I Want To Know: Has Covid-19 affected your life in any way?
Comments